Jokes

Welcome to my jokes page. If you have any jokes you would like me to put on this page, just e-mail me. The jokes on this page come from GCFL. Visit them!!

 

A boy came home from school with his exam results.

"What did you get?" his father asked.

"My marks are under water," said the boy.

"What do you mean 'under water'?"

"They are all below 'C' level."

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A teacher was asking her class: "What is the difference between "unlawful' and 'illegal'?"

Only one hand shot up. "Ok, answer Joan," said the teacher.

"Unlawful is when you do something the law doesn't allow and illegal is a sick eagle."

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"Just to establish some parameters," said the professor, "Mr. Nichols, what is the opposite of joy?"

"Sadness," said the student.

"And the opposite of depression, Ms. Biggs?"

"Elation."

"And you sir, how about the opposite of woe?"

"I believe that would be giddy up."

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A man drove all night long. Upon arriving in a small community, he decided to stop in the local park and catch some shuteye. Just as he dozed off, there was a knock on the window. Outside the car, the man saw a jogger.

"Excuse me, can you give me the time?"

"Yeah, it's 6:27."

The man settled back and was almost asleep when there was another knock on the window. Another jogger.

"I'm sorry to disturb you, but do you have the time?"

"Yeah, it's 6:34."

The man rolled up the window and realized this could go on indefinitely. So he took paper and pen and made a sign which read:

"I DO NOT KNOW THE TIME."

He stuck the sign in the window and again nestled himself back in the seat.

Then...yet another tap on the window. The man looked, and sure enough, another jogger.

He disgustedly rolled down the window and said,

"Yeah, what is it?"

The jogger replied, "It's 6:42."

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