INDIANAPOLIS AKA "Indian-no-place" or "Naptown" (the *inhabitants* call it that) Sample of Indy news broadcast Frustrations of birding in Indy Indiana Chamber of Commerce: "The Crossroads of America." Everyone else: "That detour around the Lake." The state quarter: Should have depicted several roads leading to a blank space in the middle, but instead they used the Indy 500 race car (it's the only thing that's ever happened here). "I'm not in the middle of nowhere, but I can see it from here." -- from the movie "Thelma and Louise". (They were in Arizona; if they'd been here, they wouldn't have been able to see it, because they'd have been standing on it.) "I can't wait to blow this popsicle stand." -- a friend, now in Seattle "Our biggest export is college graduates." -- a friend at Purdue University, who will leave Indiana after graduation "I'm looking for someone to share a common disaster Run away with me from lives so cramped and dull I'm not worried too much 'bout the happily ever after Just keep the Caddy moving til we're well beyond this hell." -- Cowboy Junkies The problem with Indianapolis is not really so much that it's hellish, as that there is nothing here. There is a great shortage of oceans, shorebirds, cute single men, and liberal, educated people. We do have a lot of neat insects, and the soil is good, and it's not brutally cold in winter, and people are friendly. But those don't make up for the ravaged habitat, the Republican voters, the scarcity of good universities, and the only large body of water being 3 hours away. There is also what I perceive as a sort of time warp, such that Indy is decades or more away from adopting ideas and practices that are considered common sense only a few counties away, like recycling. (There is recycling, but only of some materials, and you are penalized for doing it.) I wanna gota Boston... (See Buzzards Bay, nearby.)