Four expectant fathers were in Minneapolis hospital waiting room, while their wives were in labor.
The nurse comes in and tells the first man, "Congratulations! You're the father of twins!"
"What a coincidence!" the man exclaims. "I work for the Minnesota Twins baseball team!"
The nurse returns a short while later and tells the second man, "You are the father of triplets!"
"Wow, what a coincidence!" he replies. "I work for the 3M Corporation!"
When the nurse comes again, she tells the third man that his wife has given birth to quadruplets.
"Another coincidence! I work for the Four Seasons Hotel!"
At this point, the fourth guy faints. The others ask what's wrong.
"What's wrong?! I work for Seven-Up!"
When a friend asked his six-year-old brother why babies are spanked when they are born, the youngster replied, "To get them used to it."
You know your children are growing up when they stop asking you where they came from and refuse to tell you where they're going.
There's a little fellow named Junior who hangs out at Tim Alley's Grocery Store. Manager Tim doesn't know what Junior's problem is, but the boys like to tease him. They say he is two bricks shy of a load, or two pickles shy of a barrel.
To prove it, sometimes they offer Junior his choice between a nickel and a dime. He always takes the nickel, they say, because it's bigger. One day after Junior grabbed the nickel, Manager Tim got him off to one side and said, "Junior, those boys are making fun of you. They think you don't know the dime is worth more than the nickel. Are you grabbing the nickel because it's bigger, or what?"
Junior said, "Well, if I took the dime, they'd quit doing it!"
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Ron Combs
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Updated Tuesday may 5 1998 |
