Why do you need a driver's license to buy liquor when you can't drink and drive?
Why isn't phonetic spelled the way it sounds?
Why are there interstate highways in Hawaii?
Why are there flotation devices under plane seats instead of parachutes?
Why are cigarettes sold in gas stations when smoking is prohibited there?
Do you need a silencer if you are going to shoot a mime?
Have you ever imagined a would with no hypothetical situations?
How does the guy who drives the snowplow get to work in the mornings?
If 7-11 is open 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, why are there locks on the doors?
If a cow laughed, would milk come out her nose?
If nothing ever sticks to TEFLON, how do they make TEFLON stick to the pan?
If you tied buttered toast to the back of a cat and dropped it from a height, what would happen?
If you're in a vehicle going the speed of light, what happens when you turn on the headlights?
You know how most packages say "Open here." What is the protocol if the package says, "Open somewhere else?"
Why do they put Braille dots on the keypad of the drive-up ATM?
Why do we drive on parkways and park on driveways?
Why is it that when you transport something by car, it's called a shipment, but when you transport something by ship, it's called cargo?
You know that little indestructible black box that is used on planes, why can't they make the whole plane out of the same substance?
Why is it that when you're driving and looking for an address, you turn down the volume on the radio?
-Smile, it's the second best thing you can do with your lips.
-Sex is like air, it's not important unless you aren't getting any.
-Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway.
-If vegetable oil is made of vegetables, what is baby oil made of?
-No guts, no glory, no brain, same story.
-If quitters never win, and winners never cheat, then who is the fool who said "Quit while you're ahead?"
-If you don't die from it -- it is healthy.
-If everything is going well, you don't know what the hell is Going on.
-One good turn gets most of the blankets.
-It is better to be looked over than overlooked.
-It is not what a teenager knows that bothers his parents, it is how he found out.
-My homework is like a juicy steak -- rarely done.
-There are two kinds of pedestrians -- the quick and the dead.
-Life is sexually transmitted.
-An unbreakable toy is useful for breaking other toys.
-If at first you don't succeed -- give up! No use being a damn fool.
-Falling in love is awfully simple. Falling out of love is simply awful.
-No job is so simple that it can't be done wrong.
-You can only be young once, but you can be immature forever.
-Only adults have difficulty with child proof bottles.
-The Complete Murphy's Law: Anything that can go wrong will... Everything takes longer than you think...Anything that can go wrong will...Usually at the worst possible moment...
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My Domain || Fantasy View || Laugh Riot ||
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This Site and all its contents © 1997 by
Ron Combs
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Updated Monday May 4 1998 |
